What! No Tea and Scones?

Rose Fatimah

June 20, 2009 · 17 Comments

nasiLemak

These days, I hang out for quite a bit at a training provider located in Danau Kota. The strategy is simple: if they see me often enough, they’ll hopefully assign me to a training job or two. The good news is that it seems to be working. The better news is that Danau Kota is dead smack next to Taman Ibukota – the place where I grew up and learnt the things I should and also a few things I shouldn’t have as well. So, it’s sort of a trip down memory lane.

The drive to Danau Kota takes me past a row of shops (just past Past Pasar Besar Gombak) along Batu Lima Jalan Gombak. It’s been a few decades (yes, I’m a decrepit old git) since I’ve been this way. I was surprised to find that the old Malay coffee-shop called “Rose Fatimah” still exists. It no longer stands on the old site but is now a few units farther down the road – all spruced-up and solid-looking (well, as spruced-up and solid-looking as an old Malay coffee-shop can be).

I remember the days when it was my duty every morning to cycle on the old Raleigh Chopper to get my dear grandma her daily dose of nasi lemak from Rose Fatimah. Looking back, I recall how I used to hate this chore. But it did have its high points: while waiting for the nasi lemak to be packed, I had the chance to enjoy a teh tarik and my first cigarette for the day. I was seventeen (or so) then – smoking in the house would have got me killed.

Now, thirty years later, when I look back at all those trips to Rose Fatimah – regardless of how much I hated doing it at the time – I could not think of a greater honour than to cycle the four kilometres to get my grandma her nasi lemak. Heck! Today, I’d gladly cycle a hundred kilometres to get her her nasi lemak from Rose Fatimah. Isn’t it funny how we are all too willing to do things for people only after they are dead?

So, on a lark, I pulled-up at Rose Fatimah one fine morning to sample their legendary nasi lemak. Nothing has changed. The clientele is pretty much the same: old Malay gents wearing baju Melayu, sarongs and white skull caps talking amiably with each other – obviously just out of the nearby mosque after performing solat subuh. However, these are probably the sons of the same old gits wearing baju Melayu, sarong and white skull caps, who used to leer disapprovingly at me as I lit-up my cigarette thirty years ago (I was seventeen at the time, remember?).

And surprise of surprises, the owner is still alive. He sat quietly at a table near the service counter, serene as any dignified any old man could be, overseeing operations and smiling courteously at all the patrons. I smiled back, too. But it is obvious he didn’t remember me. Maybe one of these days I should drop by riding a Raleigh Chopper, dressed in faded Wranglers and a Fruit of the Loom T-shirt, and lighting a Benson and Hedges with the arrogance of a seventeen year old. Maybe that would jog his memory; then again, maybe it wouldn’t – he looks as if he is just a few days short of his 100th birthday.

But the magic came when the youngish Indonesian girl served me up my plate of nasi lemak. It was as if time had stood still at Rose Fatimah. It was as savoury, piquant and mouth-wateringly delicious as it was thirty years ago (I am talking about the nasi lemak, not the female Indonesian worker, OK?). If you are ever in the area at about breakfast time, do you self a favour – park your car, waltz in and order your nasi lemak. I would recommend the rendang daging. And if you don’t take beef, you can’t go wrong with their sambal sotong. Do this and then look me in the eye and tell that that wasn’t the best nasi lemak you’ve ever had in your entire life. I’m betting the two twenty sen coins I am rubbing together in my pocket that you will not be able to do this. In a sentence, Rose Fatimah serves the best nasi lemak in the world!

As I paid for my food it struck me that in a world where everything is changing (and going to pieces at the same time), it is comforting to know that some things remain the same – like this old Malay coffee-shop known as Rose Fatimah.

→ 17 CommentsCategories: nostalgia

Good News, Bad News

June 11, 2009 · 33 Comments

head_in_sand

Bad news: the recession is still around (I think).

Good news: it hasn’t managed to kill me (yet).

Recently I stuck my head in the sand and when I emerged to have a quick look around, I found that there were hordes of people out there who were shaking their collective defiant fists at the big, bad recession. Huh? Did I miss a meeting?

I guess I must have!

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→ 33 CommentsCategories: misc

No, Not In A Shy Way

April 30, 2009 · 41 Comments

I have to go away for awhile, but I’ll leave you with this video from YouTube.

I know this is not Sinatra, but towards the end of the video there are snippets in which Mr Williams’ expressions are just priceless.

This is my way of saying thanks to the people who have come here and made my life all the richer for the experience. This song goes to Higashi-san, Dry Humour, Puteri Kamaliah, Kak Teh, De Minimis, Tommy Yew, Pok Deng, Elviza, Kassim Ahmad, Embun, Salmongkol, Mamasita, A Voice, Pak Tuo, Galing68, Dak Ah Bau, Iftinanz, Jordan, Theta, the-plague, Andrea Whatever, Cakapaje and of course, Mat Salo.

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→ 41 CommentsCategories: friends · relationships

P*ssing In My Pants

April 29, 2009 · 10 Comments

broken

In the days when I used t climb into the ring, I always thought that for every fight, I’d be able to last the regulation five three-minute rounds – that I’d still be vertically erect by the time they rang the final bell. More often than not (usually by the middle of the second round) I’d be praying that one of my seconds would throw in the towel and end my misery. They never did, the idiots! So, I’d soldier on – occasionally checking to see if I were already dead – until my opponent had had enough of me stopping his blows with my face and other parts of my body. That ought to teach him!

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→ 10 CommentsCategories: human nature

Pausing to Punctuate: Semi-colons

April 27, 2009 · 8 Comments

punctuate

The semi-colon (;) has to be one of the most confounding punctuation marks in the English language. An early strategy of mine – in the days when I lacked the motivation to look-up any rules – had been to avoid using them altogether. A full stop, or so I thought, would have done the same job equally well. So, what business did I have making life more difficult than it already was by messing about with semi-colons? Why take the trunk road when you could take the PLUS highway and break existing speed-limit laws in relative comfort?

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→ 8 CommentsCategories: writing

Please Hear Us Out

April 25, 2009 · 18 Comments

misandry

Over the years, I have more or less surmised that the problem with man-woman relationships is that the woman component (when it suits her) expects the man component to think and behave as if he were a woman. Any deviation from this paradigm brings about accusations of gross insensitivity, brute-force male-chauvinism and–the worse of the lot–cries of “You don’t love me anymore!”

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→ 18 CommentsCategories: human nature · humour · relationships

Funny Indian Parker Advertisement

April 24, 2009 · 10 Comments

I don’t usually plonk a YouTube video in my posting and consider that a valid entry–makes me feel more like the lazy bugger that I am. But sometimes there are exceptions. This video had me laughing like someone who had just smoked a couple of good joints (or so they tell me).

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→ 10 CommentsCategories: fountain pens · humour

Pausing to Punctuate: Colons

April 23, 2009 · 14 Comments

punctuate

A reader asked if I could possibly do a posting on colons (:) and semi-colons (;). In deference to that request, I have decided to postpone my posting on gapping and bracketing commas to a later date. However, I will only attempt to deal with colons in this posting; semi-colons are quite involved and will require an entire and separate posting.

The good news is that colons are fairly easy to use correctly since they have only one major role. As such, this posting will not be too difficult to follow. But first, here are some ground rules:

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→ 14 CommentsCategories: writing

Zen in Three Sit-ups

April 19, 2009 · 21 Comments

sit-ups

Though the memory of it is now ephemeral and almost surreal, there was a time when I was fit enough to take extended mountain bike rides (sometimes on my own) deep into the Malaysian wilderness. These rides would be usually day-trips, but overnighters weren’t that uncommon. Occasionally they’d be impromptu, on-my-bike-and-go type of things. But most of the time, they were planned with almost military-like precision. Whichever kind they were, they used to fill a part of me like nothing else could – including sex.

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→ 21 CommentsCategories: misc

Driving Instructors, Camels and Volkswagen Beetles

April 16, 2009 · 24 Comments

beetle1

Unlike most males (adolescent or otherwise) – who got hard-ons from looking at the posters of sleek sports cars stuck to their bedroom walls – I was never very big on cars. Perhaps this was why I got my driving licence very late in life – when I was 31, in fact. Even then, the decision to go for driving lessons had been prompted by an ultimatum issued by my boss at work, “Get a driving licence or get a new job!” I guess that made sense: a salesperson without much mobility was probably pretty useless to the company.

Thus motivated, I enrolled at a driving school and started my lessons. Despite being reasonably competent at it, I had seriously unreasonable doubts about my own driving skills. That I might lose my job if I failed the bleeding driving test probably had a lot to do with this. So I hatched a scheme to stack the odds in my favour: I would give my instructor a carton of Camels (his favourite brand) every time I went for lessons.

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→ 24 CommentsCategories: nostalgia