Close your eyes, relax, sit back and ponder this two very special words: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
Done that? What did you see? An enraged brute of a man thumping on his helpless little wife? I thought so!
Now try again.
Do you see a woman berating her husband, perhaps even accompanying her verbal abuse with physical blows? You don’t? Try again, try harder! Do you see it now? I thought so.
The tragedy here is that, to most of us, a battered husband is something of a joke. This kind of thing doesn’t happen in real life. And even if it does, the husband must be such a wimp that he deserves having his pea-sized testicles trampled upon by his wife. What kind of a man allows his wife to beat up on him? Can’t be much of a man, can he?
I’ll tell you what kind of man allows his wife to beat-up on him: one who doesn’t believe in hitting his wife under any circumstances! See the irony here? Just the kind of man who should be celebrated as a hero is relegated to the position of a clown, and not a very good one at that, too.
But just how much hurt can a wife physically do to her husband, I hear you say? I agree, in most cases, not very much. But are we condoning such acts just because there is only a little or no physical hurt involved? Hmm… lets see, it wouldn’t hurt a woman at all if I, let’s say, lightly pinched her nipples or even softly slapped her bottom for several minutes, would it? But just because I do not cause physical hurt doesn’t mean my actions are any less reprehensible, right?
Another reason why domestic violence perpertrated on men is taken lightly is because such incidents are considered as rare as a mathematically talented Malay of any age or gender! Take a deep breath, open our hearts, and think again. Abused husbands and mathematically talented Malays aren’t really all that rare. Its just that social conditioning has not allowed us to become more aware of these people; even when they pass right under our noses. Just because we are not equipped to identfy an abused husband doesn’t mean that they don’t exist or that the pain they feel is any less real. They exist. And they bleed just like any other abused person. The stink of it is, our prejudice (or is it ignorance?) blinds us to the possibility that a man, can be, and is often abused by his wife.
And if we take a less limited interpretation of the word ‘abuse’, one that would include not only physical hurt, but also emotional hurt, the statistical instances of the abused husband has just shot through the roof! There are endless instances where I have heard a husband allude to his preference for enduring three rounds in a boxing ring (with a better boxer!) rather than take even thirty seconds of the vicious, spiteful and malicious verbal assault that most women are accepted to be quite adept at.
No such thing as an abused husband? Think again. Your husband might just be one – you just don’t know (or won’t accept) it yet.