First Time I Fell In Love

The first time I fell in love, it was with two women at the same time. I never saw a need to have to choose between them and carried on accordingly. I’d hook-up with one every Thursday night and the other, every Saturday night. Each session in my living room would last about 30 minutes. Though this was never enough, the end of every session left me smiling like an idiot and throbbing for more. Next week, on Thursday, I’d tune in to ‘I Dream of Genie’ and there she’d be – the object of my fantasies – Ms Barbara Eden. On Saturdays, it was ‘The Avengers’ with Ms Diana Rigg (now Dame Diana). I was only six then, OK? How was I supposed to know you weren’t supposed to fall in love with a woman who only appeared in your living room via the television screen once a week?

I fell in love with Dame Diana Rigg the very first time I laid eyes on her. For the life of me, I could never figure out what the duck she was doing with someone like Patrick McNee as her constant companion. They were like a match made in hell. She was slender, beautiful and demure while he was… er… anything but. It was then (at age six) that I learnt my first lesson about life: Life ain’t fair!

dianarigg.jpg

Dame Diana Rigg

But I also learnt another important lesson: Beautiful women had a tendency to fall for Englishmen. Perhaps, its the accent. Maybe its the demeanour. I don’t know. But it was clear to me that all the beautiful women went ga-ga whenever an Englishman was in the vicinity. Perhaps this is why, to this day, I still have a bowler hat tucked away in a closet. Hey, don’t blame me for being an Anglophile – this is all Dame Diana Rigg’s fault!

Then, on Thursday nights, it was Barbara Eden in ‘I Dream of Genie’. There was no doubt I was in love with her, too – but in a different way. Truth be told, it was while watching Ms Eden on Thursday nights that I discovered another fascinating fact of life: Women had breasts! And what a wonderful thing breasts were! To this day, I still haven’t gotten over that discovery I made 39 years ago.

barbara-eden.jpg

Barbara Eden

See what I mean? Before Ms Eden came along, breasts were just breasts (I was still six, OK?). But after she entered the picture, breast were no longer just the wobbly bits that women had on their chest: breasts became works of art that are meant to be appreciated, admired and… er… never mind. In any case, it was clear to me that I’d never see women in the same light again. In my eyes, there was only Dame Diana Rigg and Ms Barbara Eden; no other came even close.

Then, a horrible thing happened. ‘The Avengers’ and ‘I Dream of Genie’ ended their run and was replaced by some other stupid programme. Life wasn’t the same for me any more. But this didn’t last very long. Soon enough, I discovered Jane Fonda (of Barbarella fame), Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched) and a bevy of other beauties including Christine Hakim, Noor Azizah and Sarimah. But through it all, I never forgot Dame Diana Rigg and my beloved Barbara Eden. They surely don’t make women they way they used to anymore.

And as I grew older, I finally realised that falling in love with an image on the TV screen was just not on. Eventually, I discovered the real thing and started having relationships with real women (for a change). Of course, this was both good and bad. It was good because, like Coke, they were the real thing. It was bad because I soon discovered that women carried several genes that compelled them to kick their male companions in the teeth whenever an opportunity presented itself: The nicer the male companion treated them, the harder they are to kick the poor sod. Fellow males who have not yet discovered this law of nature do not have to take my word for it – you’ll discover it first hand soon enough. But I digress…

So, now 39 years older, I still think of my two first loves every once in a while – and hope that Astro (or anybody) would do re-runs ‘The Avengers’ and ‘I Dream of Genie’ soon. After all, Dame Diana Rigg and Ms Eden have never kicked me in the teeth (or anywhere else, for that matter), ever! That ought to count for something…

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27 thoughts on “First Time I Fell In Love

  1. man………………..wah kawan you got a lot to talk ahaaaaaaa………..

    I remember that Dayang something,I had her pin up poster of hers ‘Berkemban’ ohh…what a wan….er!
    Dont forget my all time fav.Marilyn Monroe s
    said she ” I don’t want to make money. I just want to be wonderful.

    mo na me.volu’cuqest dema seswa.

    wewewewe….

  2. [class monitor]

    Dayang Sulu or Dayang Sofia?

    [Lily]

    Of course I fancied Ms Lumley as well – but not as much as I fancied Dame Diana Rigg.

    [mr jp]

    That’s right my friend, treat them as a gentlemen might treat them, and you’re in for at least a kick in the gonads. But act like an insensitive and heartless bast*rd, they’ll be falling all over your feet. Go figure!

  3. The first time I fell in love was when I watched “Casper” the movie and it was with Casper the ghost after he turned into a human being played by Devon Sawa. I didn’t think any male human being can be sooooooo gorgeous. But now, after 16 years older, I didn’t think he’s that handsome anyways.

    Now, I am having crushes on older male or male with white or grey hair: Sean Connery, Campbell Scott, George Clooney, Richard Gere, Liam Neeson, William Petersen …….

    what a way to start my day…

  4. some tv channels did run a rerun on i dream of genie, which i watched religiously. and patrick mcnee was not so bad you know. he had wit, he had charm and he’s got tha charming smile.

  5. I dream of genie.. one of my favourites! The Three Stooges is quite hillarious too…

    Ms Eden is sure one hot bombshell at that time. I don’t blame you… hehe

  6. [aj/azlin]

    You are so right, ma’am. The men you mentioned are icons.

    [babe]

    Yes, ma’am. Patrick McNee isn’t all that bad. My gripe with him is not because he had wit, charm and a good smile. What makes me want to set him on fire was because he had Dame Diana Rigg with him all the time! (-:

    [sheryl]

    Yes, ma’am. Ms Eden was quite the bombshell. I imagine if she could retain her looks today, she’d still rank as one of the 10 most beautiful women in the world.

  7. In the days of yore when satelite television and Internet were regarded as sci-fi, candidates for adolescent boys to fall in love with were far and in between. It was not uncommon to have half the population of the boys in school carrying the same newspaper cut-out photo of the same woman. I remember Farah Fawcett being the most popular.

    At the time when pan-asian women were only being conceive thanks to our adventureous boys, Noorkumalasari and Uji Rashid were the local sex icons. Its interesting to note that back then the majority of inter-racial relationship consist of local boys and caucasion girls. Now its the other way around. I suppose we learned from the elders that these women age twice as fast, so we are better off with the local lasses.

    Today in this ICT age, kids ‘get off’ from all sorts of medium. I am not suprise that many of them are sexually confuse.

    Cheers.

    Ps. We get our teeth kicked playing rugby and we still celebrate afterwards. Women are unpredictable and mysterious. that is why we love them so much.

  8. [mister patel]

    Sir, you are indeed, very preceptive. Yes, in the sixties, it was the local lads going after the Caucasian women. Nowadays, generally speaking of course, it is the other way round, isn’t it?

    And how right you are: we get our teeth kicked-in while playing rubgy – but that doesn’t stop us from continuing to play, does it? We must be suckers for punishment (-:

  9. Angie Dickinson … movie star (not quite A-list but still starred with Rock Hudson and Burt Reynolds), TV series (Policewoman).

    Also featured in Hustler … 🙂

    … those incomparable legs … *sigh

    Then again Joanna Lumley’s the one that makes you want to bonk her silly just to make her smile.

  10. Mat B.. we’re contemporaries, so we more or less ‘sexposed’ to the same visual stimuli, and I too was once smitten with these two. Couple of years alter began my ‘love affair’ with other various stars of the female persuasion. I am particularly attracted to strong and intelligent women esp. with endless legs (forgetting Angie – howcudcha?)Believe it or not, a few years after Messrs. Rigg, Lumley, and Eden I took a fancy to Polly, the art student/maid who served as Basil’s asst. and who often covered-up for Manuel’s shortcomings. She also co-wrote the damn thing with Cleese! Imagine that! Later I thought Geena Davies was cool along with D’ Mornay (married to my Idol P. Gabriel) and that thinkin’ man’s sex bomb Susan Sarandon… Many blogs ago I also wrote about a near brush with fame of the femme fatale kind. In ’85, while jobless, I drove a charming ex-colonial administrator, now Singaporean who spoke excellent Kelantanese. Traveling along the old KB-Goa Musang-Lipis road he decided to stop at the old rest house in Lipis for the night. We then shared a room after indulging in some excellent Hainanese-inspired steaks and chicken chop. Being old enough to be my grandpa, I let him ramble along while I swatted mosquitoes listening to his stories. He said he had an only daughter who’s quite famous. And this is the killer: “She’d probably get along with someone like you”. Whoa… me? He mentioned her name, Jennifer, Jenny. The charming old man on the rickety bed next to me wass Derek Seagrove. Yes, she was the lead actress in that serialized Babara Taylor Bradford’s ‘Woman of Substance’. Born in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur, Jenny was a one-time companion of Sir Michael Winner, producer of those Death Wish movies with Charles Bronson…

  11. Hi Mat Bangkai

    You don’t have to wait for Astro (or anyone else) to bring back “I Dream of Jeannie”? You can have Barbara Eden stashed on your shelf (or wherever you so desire) when you buy the series on DVD. 🙂

  12. [mat salo]

    Wow! Jenny Seagrove’s father thought she might have gotten along with someone like you? I’m devastated!

    [JT]

    That make me want to go out and get a DVD player. Just as well, They don’t sell VHS tapes for my VCR anymore.

  13. Dear MB,

    A witty posting. I read once and actually read it again. But I dont really know these women save and except for the Bewitched woman. You can’t really blame me cause I am waaaayyyy younger than you. Heh heh heh…

    As I said before, it is best that you remain anonymous, lest your wife finds out… (shudder).

    However, I think that you have a flair in writing. I enjoy your blog immensely. Tulis lah banyak2 lagi okay…

  14. Hi Mat Bangkai,

    I may be a girl, but just like you, I too fell in love with Diana Rigg and Barbara Eden. You are right, they don’t make women like that anymore. Beautiful, voluptious, and intelligent and witty and most of all, classy.

    Ha ha..I think virtual love is lasting kan. LOL.

  15. [desparil]

    Yes, Heather Locklear was quite a looker, too.

    [ruby]

    With the benefit of hindsight, virtual (and unilateral love) does not involve any pain. But its so lonely!

  16. Mat B.. Hehee.. I was devastated too. Because I never got to meet her. Derek had invited me to SG once when she came to town but I had no money and no business fawning over (then) H’wood A list actresses, Bangsar born or not. You know lah, good ‘ol Melayu inferiority complex. We’ll she’s quite old now and has a hit BBC show playing a judge.

    Hey did you also know the late Keith Moon’s wife Kim something grew up in an estate in M’sia? She died in an auto crash last year in Texas. She was a model in the swingin’ sixties appearing in A Hards Days Nite and was introduced to Keith by either Rod Stewart or Sir Mick. Can’t remember which…

  17. [digital]

    Yep, saw that one. But isn’t that the one with George Lazenby?

    [Mat Salo]

    Just as well you didn’t meet her. Coz if you had, I’d be so jealous, I’d jump out the window of this Kota Baru hotel room.

    [Elviza]

    Pergi KB lah, ma’am – attending to some business.

  18. Hiya. Have to agree with you; Diana was one of my first childhood crushes. You summed her up perfectly: slender and beautiful. I did meet her once, and she’s still very attractive. And Barbera Eden is also very charming.

    I think you can get the avengers on DVD now.

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