New Element Discovered

This important discovery needs to be circulated as widely as possible – especially before the next elections are held.

NEW ELEMENT

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has

  • 1 neutron
  • 25 assistant neutrons
  • 88 deputy neutrons
  • and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,

giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalized with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

(swiped from the Fountain Pen Network posting by rogerb)

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6 thoughts on “New Element Discovered

  1. [hajar]

    Where can respond like this one? This doesn’t apply only to THIS government: it applies to all Governments… I think.

    [pak tuo]

    Anarchy lives! Or was he Luke Skywalker’s father? in which case, he’s dead.

    [pp]

    Always glad to help someone have a laugh!

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