Story of the Old Cock

This was a story told to me by my dear friend, a fellow ex-MRSMer who answers to the name Mat Kjenk. I particularly like this story because, like all washed-up, middle-aged, over-the-hill cretins, I am partial to stories about the triumphant β€˜Hero Tua’. This story involves a stud rooster. Some may have heard it before. But for the benefit of those who haven’t, here it is again:

A chicken-farmer, concerned about the dwindling production of eggs in his coop, acquires a stud rooster. Upon being installed in the coop, the young cock (pardon the obviously intended pun), seeks out the semi-retired rooster and declares, “Beat it, you washed-up old cock! All these chickens are henceforth mine. You can just curl-up and die somewhere – preferably far away from here.”

“But surely, young man,” pleads the old cock, “surely there are too many chickens here for you to service on your own. Can I have just one or two of those hens over there?”

“Have you gone deaf as well as impotent? Absolutely not! I said they are all mine. Now, beat it!” the young cock taunted.

“In that case, can you humour and old fart like me? Let’s call it a last request.”

“OK. But make it quick.”

“I’ll race you around the coop. If you win, I’ll do as you say. But if I win, I get to keep one or two old hens for company in my old age. What do you say?”

With very little to lose, the young rooster agreed and even added, “Just to show you what big cock I am, I’ll even give you a head start. Will 15 seconds be fair?”

Without answering, the old cock shot off, hobbling along at full limping speed. Fifteen seconds later, the young stud gave chase, easily catching-up with the ageing rooster. As they turned the corner, they came into full view of the farmer who was sitting on his porch. The young stud almost caught up with the old cock when the farmer got out his shotgun. Ka-boom! The stud rooster was turned into an exploding mass of feathers, blood and flying flesh.

“Heck!” cried the farmer, “damned these gay stud roosters. That’s the third time this week…”

Morale of this story? Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

Hmmm… doesn’t this sound very much like what a wily old PM once did to his deputy a while back?

Now, where’s that arrogant young upstart that was here tormenting me a minute ago? Come to daddy, boy…

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13 thoughts on “Story of the Old Cock

  1. Must it all end with explosion and being blown up to bits? But it does give us old farts some ray of hope.any investigation or SD’s yet?

    Kak Teh

    Nope. No C4 or Statutory Declaration involved in this story.

    Why the explosive ending? Men are simply fascinated with explosions – even old ones πŸ™‚

  2. heard many times. read many times. but never has been as good as told by you!

    hehehe……

    “shrivel away…eh!”

    hehehehe

    just another old one!

    Ehem ehem

    I am glad you like this… even though you’ve heard/read it before

  3. I lurvvee washed-up, middle-aged, over-the-hill cretins…shrivelled what-have-you notwithstanding…because THEY CROW GOOD!

    Puteri Kamaliah

    Yes, ma’am! The do crow good. What God has taken away from them in their old age, He has replaced with something else equally valuable: The use of their their tongue (for crowing/singing/sweet-talking, of course)

  4. Adoi Mat!I nak slaughhter this old crow!Kesian the young studs!Memang ramai old ones macam ni Mat.Licik and masih miang tak terkira!Shrivel or old the dainty hens tak kisah!Janji ada loads of shopping cash and anything to ‘unshrivel’ it!Excuse me!!haha

    Mamasita

    Yes, ma’am. Like my father always says: “If you’re a woman, you better be good-looking. If you’re a man, you better be filthy rich.”

    Note: Emphasis is on ‘rich’. Being ‘filthy’, however, is optional πŸ™‚

  5. A very good one here MB..You surely make me laugh tonight..Give me more..

    Azah

    Always good to know that I have made make someone laugh, ma’am

  6. chanced upon yr blog while reading lily’s. though just read a few of yr writings, enjoyed all of them. ex mrsmer? same here. promise will drop by here often.

    Noor

    Glad you enjoyed yourself. Visit soon.

    Yes, I am an ex-MRSMer. MCE in ’79

  7. Hahaha! Fancy that. What happened to the MRSM blog, dah lama tak update!
    ‘B’ from Homeroom F too πŸ˜€ (You know who I am ….)

    QOTH

    Aha! I’ve figured out who you are and will protect your anonymity. The MRSM blog? I’ve been a lazy bugger lately lah…

    I will try to change my lazy ways… but probably not tomorrow, tho πŸ˜€

  8. The signs of the time are bad. Let’s have more humour, Mat.

    Mine is always dry. Dunno how to wet it.

    Dry Humour

    Glad to have you here, bro! How to get it wet? Foreplay usually does the trick πŸ™‚

  9. Here are a few quotes –

    Those who have no humour are missing George W Bush.

    It’s safer to laugh at foreigners. On local leaders humour might bring you a tumour.

    Source – Anon.

    Dry Humour

    Ha ha ha… good one this. Notice that it works quite well, too, when you substitute George W Bush for almost any other politician. Hmmm… I can put this to good use…

  10. Dear sir,
    I stumbled upon your blogsite by mistake a few months ago and have since been an avid follower. Thank you for your humour. I especially love the stories about London. I was there 20 years ago, not being a law student.

    Anakmak

    Glad you like these stories, Anakmak.

    I was there much earlier than you, though; but I left in ’86. I keep going back (in my mind) over and over again. Are you like this, too?

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