As I get older and more decrepit, I seem to be losing two things at an equally alarming rate: my eyesight and my sex appeal. Since my chances of coming into a million ringgit are slim – hence dashing any hopes of instantly reviving my sex appeal – there is nothing I can do in this department. My eyesight, however, is a different matter: There is something I can do about this.
So, off I went to the optician to have my eyes tested. Not surprisingly, it had gone from bad to worse: I needed a new prescription for my glasses. So, while I was at it, I thought I’d get new spectacle frames as well. Perhaps I’ve been living under a rock for quite some time because when I looked at the prices of spectacle frame these days, I almost had a seizure! So, I asked to be shown their lower range frames.
There was one affordable Oakley look-alike, but the wife thought it made me look like an ‘orang tua gatal’. So, that model was off the negotiating table – I may be an ‘orang tua’, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to look ‘gatal’ to boot. Finally, I settled for a frame that looked like what Buddy Holly used to wear. Not bad, really; except the wife said it made me look like her father. Hmmm, is this good or is this bad? Not sure, really. But considering the very affordable price, I decided I’d take my chances.
Now that I’ve had the glasses for a day or two, I’ve found that they aren’t half bad. If you squint your eyes a little and focused on just the glasses in flattering light, I’d look exactly like Buddy Holly! But if you were to look at the big picture (i.e. my entire face, not just the glasses) I’d look like Drew Carey’s ugly twin.
But that’s OK, I guess. I’m quite tired of being stopped at Tesco’s by hordes of people mistaking me for James Bond and wanting to have look at my gun (the Walther PPK, silly: Not the other one that probably now shoots only blanks).
Er… if I sound delusional, that’s probably because I am.