Sex in the Desert

camel

Sakmongkol – one of my biggest heroes in the blogsphere – actually wrote a post in response to my Buddy Holly posting. I was over the moon that someone of Sakmongkol’s stature even knows that I exist let alone write something in response to one of my inane postings! I am flattered to no end. Read Sakmongkol’s post here. It is truly hilarious

In the spirit of reciprocity, I will also post something here about nerds. It concerns a nerdy Arab Bedouin who, incidentally,  also wears Buddy Holly glasses. He is on a long, lonely trek across the desert with his trusty old female camel. The Bedouin, however, does not ride the came since she is already oldand weak: he just walks behind the camel, watching the camel’s ass bob up and down with every step she took.

After about a week of watching the camel’s ass, his Arab blood got the best of his nerdy personality and he started to get horny. After yet another week of trekking across the desert, he was on the verge of becoming a serial rapist.

Deliverance, however, came on the third week. One day, just as he was about to camp down for the night, he saw the wreckage of an Air Asia plane strewn all over the desert. Debris and body parts were scattered all over the place. Suddenly, like a gift from God, the prettiest and sexiest stewardess he had ever seen came stumbling out of the wreckage. His Buddy Holly glasses almost came off his nose.

“Water! Water! Please give me water… ” pleaded the sexy, scantily-clad stewardess.

Already salivating, the Bedouine saw his chance and took it. “If I give you water, what are you prepared to do for me?” he demanded.

“Anything! I will do anything, kind sir. Please give me some water.” she pleaded again.

He let her have her fill of his water, waited a decent while, and made his move. “Now that I have saved your life, what are you going to do for me?” he asked with a knowing smile

Considering he had saved her life, and that he looked kind of cute in his Buddy Holly glasses, she replied, “I will do anything you ask. Anything at all to fulfill your desires.”

“Good!” retorted the Bedouin. “Now, be a good girl and help me hold the camel’s legs apart!”

Morale of the story? If you’re a camel, beware of the nerdy Bedouin wearing Buddy Holly glasses

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24 thoughts on “Sex in the Desert

  1. Aiseymen!Anti-climax betul cerita ni!For a moment I thought this was going to be a sizzling posting where sparks will fly!Padam terus bunga api!hahaha

    Mamasita

    Anticlimax, ma’am? Not from the camel’s point of view!

  2. hahaha…this is the nerdest story I’ve ever heard. never expected the story to end like that. you really are a good story teller!

    Noor

    Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it, ma’am.

  3. come come mb, you are too modest. i have been asking our young lads to go read What? No tea…to learn how to apply the English Language. i never ceased to be amazed of your craftsmanship or should i say, yr penmanship. i assure you, its my pleasure to read you. am sure too, many others share this assessment. thank you.

    Arif Sabri

    Thank you, sir. You’re a right proper gentleman. When I grow up, I want to be just like you

  4. Kelakar! Joke Sakmongkol pun kelakar… Maknanya, orang perempuan akan selamat dengan ‘nerds’ ni…

    Enchum

    Hmm… that’s one way thinking about it.

    Or is this something the nerds want you to believe? They let you think you are safe, lull you into a feeling of security – and then WHAM! They’re all over you.

    (Not that I’ve tried this approach, of course… )

  5. You are so hum sup la old man! Hahahah!
    Enuff bout Buddy Holly, can I have some “Holy Body!” stories? Hehehehe!

    Digital

    I know! Delicious, ain’t it? Holy Body stories? Not when minors might be reading, bro!

  6. I think the politically-correct terminology would be “flight attendant” as opposed to stewardess.

    *Huge Grin*

    Elviza

    “Flight attendant” might be more political correct. But “stewardess” has a stronger connotation of the sexy, compliant, and slightly naive vixen.

    What can I say? I’m definitely old school – of the unrepentant male chauvinist variety. Never politically-correct, the whole lot of us 😀

  7. Dear MB…

    This is definitely hilarious posting better than Sakmongkol (no harm Sir Sakmongkol). I guess that sexy stewardess is too blind to see the nerdy Bedouin (being desperate I guess) and that Bedouin surely need a new pair of glasses or the impact of being too long in the desert :-).
    The moral of the story is, I need to start doing the lazy eye exercises so I won’t end up like both of them.:-)

    Azah

    No, ma’am. The Bedouin isn’t visually impaired. The camel is just for starters. The stewardess is the main course…

  8. On a completely off-topic note, I do notice that, off-late, your posts are all about sex and sex-appeal.

    Why?

    Elviza

    Er… because (as they say in the advertising industry) sex sells!

    I just haven’t figured out what I’m selling yet.

  9. Elviza

    Although conventional medical science have not established beyond doubt that men are capable of daily or weekly “cycles” (notice I don’t mention any longer period of time) men themselves have a physiological awareness arising from unknown chemical or hormonal secretions that they need to turn their minds to sex, sexuality and related biological processes (depending on individual orientation).

    This leads me to the latest sms sent by a friend alludes to the above matter as well as the state of English proficiency in this country:

    There was an examination paper that contained the following question containing blank spaces to be filled in:

    “If a lady faints, we must check her PU_S_”

    Only ONE student passed. He wrote “PULSE”

  10. mr bogart, you gotta spell it out to me. i’m .. err … dense like that.

    😀

    Scout

    Can I get back to you on this? With a demo, perhaps? I’m not too good with words, you see…

  11. Mat-san,

    There`s wry humour in this episode,but I`d unhesitatingly go for the drooping leaves of those beautiful willows overlooking the lake, and the increasingly shorter daylight hours of Fall,which cast growingly faint but long shadows on the once lush lawns of Regent`s Park .And of course, that magical blue park bench …And,are “they” still there,Mat-san? Locked momentarily in a stolen lover`s embrace in a relationship many would be too willing to frown upon(for aren`t they already beholden to their respective spouses, albeit in relationships where the fires of romance were snuffed out eons ago, ?)

    Too bad, Mat-san,can`t make it to London this X`mas/New Year, so will spend the coming hols reminiscing last year`s, (and those winters before that) delightful memories there!

    In advance…Happy Holidays , Merry X`mas & A Happy New Year to you!

    HIgashi-san

    Azhar and Sarah are still there – just that I haven’t told their story for a long time. Will do soon.

    Happy holidays, Merry X’mas and hppy New Year to you, too, bro

  12. i hope airasia stewardesses don’t take this as constructive criticism and start bombarding their facial features with more of that infamous airasia makeup. or worse, start drinking water in huge amounts but less frequently hoping their humps would look like them camels’. i don’t know argkh.

    Penyangak

    Humps looking like a camel’s? *LOL*

  13. Mat B, I am off to the Land of The Desert in a matter of days and this posting is not doing me any justice! In any case, I shall steer clear of both Bedouins and camels.. 🙂

    Puteri Kamaliah

    Have a safe trip, ma’am.

  14. MB,

    Romancing your write up, I just could not find the right word to describe. It fulls of live, alluring, addictive and so refreshing..make me yearning for more… can i link yours from mine(blog)?:-):-)

    Semerah Padi

    I am glad you like this blog. By all means, do link this blog.

  15. oh bogart, i will be looking forward to that demonstration. have you got a camel to make the demonstration all the more true to the story?

    Scout

    This may take some time. Zoo Negara is still very apprehensive of releasing one of their camels to me.

  16. Dear MB,

    You don’t have to wait for the Zoo Negara to lease their Camel. It will take ages. You can come over near my place where there’s a camel farm here..and each time I pass by that place I surely smile way thinking of….. 🙂 Can’t wait to see the demonstration either Scout.

    Azah

    There’s a camel farm near where you live? Cool!

    Has the management alerted the security staff to beware of Bedouins wearing Buddy Holly glasses?

  17. the sex-in-the-desert-topic drove me here from kakteh’s.. 😉

    Anonymous

    Hope you liked the posting, ma’am – and that it was worth your trip from Kak Teh’s 🙂

  18. Oh my word! What an anti climax…Mat B! Oh no…that nerdy hallucinating bedouin!! Ha ha…

    Ruby

    Glad to see you again, ma’am.

    Maybe the Bedouin knows something we don’t, eh?

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