Jilat

jilat

It was the Hari Raya holidays and I was half asleep on my recliner – busily digesting about a ton of lemang – when my five year old son come up to me and asked, “Ayah, cuba ayah jawab teka-teki ni!” Frankly, I was in no mood for riddles. But the enthusiasm in his eyes was simply too much to throw a wet blanket over. So I turned to him and said, “OK, sayang. Mari Ayah jawab.”

Not being a very cerebral kind of guy, riddles just stump me even on the best of days. But I was not about to disappoint a very excited 5-year old – especially when he was my son. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t (normally) eat babies for breakfast. So I cranked-up my brain, heard the sputtering as it struggled to come to life and put my feeble mental faculties into gear. I was ready. Or so I thought!

Cool as a cucumber, he asked “Ayah, apa benda mula-mula kita jilat, lepas tu kita jolok?”

What?! Where did that come from?

I must have jumped three feet into the air upon hearing such words come out of a 5-year old’s mouth. This was too much for a 5-year old – even if he is MY son! I know apples don’t fall too far from the tree but it was ridiculous. Where did he learn these things?!

I took a deep breath and asked him to repeat the riddle. He did. I heard it right the first time. I was about ready to give his brother a hiding of his life for teaching such a young child these things. Then it occurred to me that I had better find out what my 5-year old thought the answer was.

“OK, Mubin. Ayah tak tau. Apa bendanya yang kita mula-mula jilat lepas tu kita jolok?” I asked, as calmly as I could.

He giggled and blurted out, “BENANG!” as he mimicked his mother licking a thread and passing it through the eye of a needle.

Phew!

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17 thoughts on “Jilat

  1. Mat Bangkai,

    Honestly, what were you thinking?! Its BENANG of course! 😛

    Pat Ong

    What was I thinking? Obviously nothing a shaolin monk in training (with a bar of soap in hand) should be thinking.

    Of course the answer is benang. It was the years of conditioning that made me think of the other answer 🙂

  2. hehehehehe
    Mujurlah the innocent abang did not get any whacking from you..otherwise he’d start wondering why ayah is fuming..hmmm..

    mamasita

    Then I would have to tell him the riddle in order to explain. There’s a problem though: if he tells me the wrong answer, I’ll have to whack him all over again.

  3. Mat-san,

    What I had in mind was exactly what went through yours.Plus, that pix of the tongue slurping deliciously on that heavenly ice lolly is definitely not helping to cancel out the answer concocted almost instantaneously by our definitely-not-naive grey cells , or is it?Naughty, naughty, my friend!

    Cheers!

    Higashi-san

    Yes, sir. That pic of Heidi Klum licking that ice cream cone was meant to subliminally implant the right images in the readers without me having to actually spell out what my thoughts were in the post.

    Naughty? Yes! But deliciously so, I would think.

  4. Bukan ke benang di kolom mamak?
    sekiranya di nyonyot itu disedut.
    Jilat = to lick
    Kolom
    Di mamah
    Bezakan antara di komor dan di Kolom?
    Di sedut dan di hisap.
    Di jolok dan di kenyah

    Pak Tuo

    Mana ada orang kolom benang, beb! Yang orang kolom tu benda lain lah!

  5. Hi Matt,

    Glad to c u r back with a ripper!

    This remind me so much about me & the story of my life, all my good innocence intention often get misconstrued & totally misunderstood by all u warped minded people**. What were u thinking?

    Jilat & Jolok = JJ, I’m sure u know of that great guy, my hero….hehehe.

    Salam,
    Tommy

    P/S – Note your first 5 commenters, 3 of my favourite heroines’ r there** They r quick to jump the line type of ppl 😉 😉

    Tommy

    JJ? Oh, that JJ! Hmmm, the acronym somehow suits him to a tee…

    Yeah, I know what you mean; we innocent folk always get misconstrued, don’t we?

  6. Salam aidilfitri MatB,

    I have a collection of such double-edged teka-teki but this one is new to me. You learn something new everyday.

    Your son got guts in coming up to you and ask the riddle… heheheh 🙂

    Salam Aidil Fitri to you, too, Oldstock

    Hmmm, I don’t think it was a question of guts. After all, he’s only 5 and really thought that there was no other possible answer than ‘benang’. His corrupted father, on the other hand, thought differently 🙂

    I don’t really know Norhayati personally; I just know of her. And did you know Norizan Kusasir is works for Kumpulan Perubatan Penawar in Pasir Gudang?

    • MatB,

      I’ve not met Norizan for quite some time now but I know she’s active in helping Ansara during the pre-Ramadhan blood donation drive.

      Oldstock

      Ah! I haven’t met her for donkey’s years, too – not since I left Penawar

  7. That’s a very hard riddle to answer. It’s even harder for us the grown-ups to think. 😀

    Pok Deng

    You are so right, sir! Adults shouldn’t answer this riddle in the presence of a child without first thinking very hard about it.

  8. Phew! Thank God he is NOTHING like his dad 😛

    Elviza

    Ah! But the night is still young; there is hope yet!

    But seriously, I hope he will turn out better than I did. Not too difficult, I guess…

  9. Waaakkkakakak!! You know riddles are always like that what… they sound ‘lucah’ but the answer is always as innocent as it can get.

    This one’s funny. Thanks for the saturday morning laugh.

  10. Hehehe….

    I asked the same riddle to my hubby, and he aswered (also cool as a cucumber) …. stamp on an envelope, and drop the envelope into the mailbox.

    He’s got 3 boys. I suppose at times he’s still trapped in the boys’ minds.

    Or ….. was he just acting “innocent” in front of me?!!!!

    Ibu

    I’m glad you enjoyed the joke.

    But ma’am, I have 6 boys and I am no whereas innocent has your dear hubby. You’ve got yourself a good man.

  11. MB, you mean you haven’t heard of the ATM joke?

    Well I’m sure you can write a cute little setting around this:

    Apa dia bila dijolok2 dipicit2 keluar money?

    Hehe, get it?

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