The Ruby Tag

I got tagged by my dear friend, Ruby, who had been tagged earlier by some other people. So, here it is

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night

Melissa, the GRO at…oops… My wife! It was my wife who made me laugh last night. (Phew!)

2. What were you doing at 0800?

I’d tell you. But I don’t think my wife would be very amused.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Again, I’d tell you. But I don’t think my other wife would be very amused either.

4. What happened to you in 2006?

You mean apart from getting kicked in the teeth by life’s little quirks?

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

I think it was along the lines of, “What do you mean, that was quick!”?

6. How many beverages did you have today?

Actually, after my fifth Jack Daniels, I lost track. That was at about 7:10 this morning.

7. What color is your hairbrush?

Maybe Roger Moore should answer this one. I – on the other hand – believe that real men should not own even a single hairbrush. Just ask Sir Sean Connery. Or better still, Telly Savalas.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?

Since the bruise on my forehead is a small one, I imagine it was for one of my minor sins.

9. Where were you last night?

Er… I was at the office… er… preparing an important business presentation. Honest! (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

10. What color is your front door?

Now? Or before it the grime and moss took over?

11. Where do you keep your change?

Change? You call that change? That’s my spending money!

12. What’s the weather like today?

It doesn’t look as if it’s going to snow this Christmas; no matter what Singaporeans might think/hope/believe.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?

Vanilla – served between Angelina Jolie’s… (gulp)… fingers?

14. What excites you?

Whipped cream, fresh cherries and… hand-cuffs: Preferably on the girl and not on me this time.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?

Myself? No, I usually let a barber do that.

16. Are you over the age of 25?

Yes. I have gotten over being 25 years old. Thanks for asking.

17. Do you talk a lot?

No, not if my wife has anything to do with it.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?

What’s the O.C.?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?

Yes. Steven Chai – the guy who sells pirated DVDs from table to table at the local mamak stall.

20. Do you make up your own words?

You mean like ‘hiskoakusa’ and ‘asujipan’?

21. Are you a jealous person?

The body parts of the last guy who looked at my wife can now be found in several locations throughout Kelana Jaya. Nah… I don’t think I’m a jealous person. Do you think I am?

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’

Angelina… Angelina Jolie. Shhhh! Enough said. We don’t want Brad to jump to any conclusions, do we?

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’

Kumar… Uthayakumar! But I think he doesn’t want to be friends anymore because of this ethnic cleansing business he is accusing me of. I think he’s even going to see the Queen to tell on me. However, I don’t think my Aunt Elizabeth will listen to him.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?

Nasha Aziz. (Yeah! Right…)

25. What does the last text message you received say?

Sayang, last night was wonderful. How about a repeat performance? Love, Nasha.

26. Do you chew on your straw?

Again, you’d better ask Roger Moore. Real men don’t drink from straws.

27. Do you have curly hair?

Of course I do. Everybody has – but as a rule, we don’t allow just anybody to peek there, right?

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?

I’ll be going to the office. I’ve got to do some… er… over-time. Yes, that’s it! Over-time!

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

Wow! So many candidates, so little time…

30. What was the last thing you ate?

A cup cake. Don’t even ask me how it was served…

31. Will you get married in the future?

This a trick question, right? You think I don’t know? Both my wives told you to ask me this, right?

33. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?

Let’s see. There was Casablanca. The day before that it was…. Casablanca, too. Come to think of it, the day before that one was Casablanca as well. Maybe I need to change, eh? OK, tomorrow night I’ll do it differently: I’ll watch Casablanca again – this time TWICE in one night.

34. Is there anyone you like right now?

Ah! Another trick question. Lucky thing I caught that in time.

35. When was the last time you did the dishes?

Last night, the night before that, and the night before that… (But don’t tell anybody, OK? If this leaks out, I’ll be ruined!)

36. Are you currently depressed?

Shouldn’t I be?

37. Did you cry today?

You mean in public? Nah!

38. Why did you answer and post this?

Because I am afraid of Ruby. Ha! Ha!

39. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.

Er… only if Ruby tells me to, OK?